I was in a park. I was signing up for the big event. There were thousands of people there. I was surrounded by women who were there to sign up for the big walk too. There was the feeling of the first day of summer camp in the air. There were lots of banners and skirted tables and directions to follow to make sure the experience went smoothly. I walked up to the table marked L-P, and handed them my application. The woman sitting at the table smiled up at me. She said "Glad you're here. Looks like everything is in order. " Then she handed me a folded pink tee shirt and told me to go into the tent to change. I looked at the tee shirt. My throat constricted. I looked at her and huge fat tears welled up in my eyes. I walked away and sat on a curb and couldn't help but weep. The woman was distressed. The walker behind me was too. They both came and put their arms around me and asked why I was crying. I was too choked up to talk, but lifted the tee shirt out of my lap. The woman at the table asked me if there was something wrong with the tee shirt. I looked at her and said "No, it's fine. I just don't want to wear the pink tee shirt!" and then broke down in sobs. The woman behind me hugged me and said the shirt was a badge of honor. I was courageous enough to survive. I should be proud to wear the tee shirt, she would be. At that point I woke up. It was maybe the most self revealing dream that I'd ever dreamt in my life. It was the morning of my mastectomy and I had to face the fact that whether or not I wanted to for the rest of my life I'd be wearing the pink tee shirt.
All New! On the weekend of 10/20/06 I finally did it. I faced the dream that I had and I earned the Pink Tee Shirt. Please follow this link to read about the experience Walking the Walk.
a peek at me.
My life was divided into sections. BC and AD took on new meaning; before cancer and after diagnosis. There were many divides and sections before and a few after, but this by far is the greatest. This is the Tsunami that rained through my life. In the midst of the storm I found God's presences as He has always been in my life. I found more grace and love than I'm deserving of. I found hope.